Letter To My Friends

Here’s just a few word’s God gave me about life
He said to put it in a letter to my friends
Just a few words about all of our trials in life
You see, a life of chaos is not what He intends

God wants you to know true happiness
My love you were not meant to live in misery
Maybe I’m not the one to be giving advice
When my own life’s been such a mystery

But these words are not mine, but from above
Words given by our Lord and not my own
Our Father wants you to know the truth of His Word
And give you a life like you’ve never known

You see, His Son told us of His grace and His love
Every single word the He taught us was the truth
When we take it to our heart it brings us back from the dead
And restores our hearts to the vitality of our youth

So He gave me this message for you all my friends
He laid on my heart for you these few words and rhymes
He told me to share with you the gospel of His truth
The truth that will get us through all of these hard times

Jesus is the way the truth and the life for us all
Everyday His Word gives us a little something to inspire
He wants you to open up your eyes and your minds to His word
Trust in Him and your hearts will be filled with Holy Fire

Moment Of Prayer

I spent my life running after worldly pleasures
I spent my time gathering up worldly treasure
But I don’t do that anymore
I spent my days running, trying to find myself
I spent my years running through a private hell
But what’s all this running good for

I spent my life living an playing a sinning man
I spent my life living and dying fast as I can
I was living a lie for what it’s worth
I spent my life living for someone else’s dreams
I spent my life living and busting at the seams
I was dying for a rebirth

I spent my life living in shadowy shades of grey
I spent my life living it my own twisted way
A life that left me begging on my knees
I spent my life living broken, so weak in the faith
I spent my life living with no sense of a better way
Until a word and a touch set my soul so free

I spent my life living weak and deceived
I spent my life living what the world believed
Until a prayer showed me I’d been so wrong
I spent my life living it out so cold and alone
I spent my life living in a world of my own
But now my soul sings out a different song

I spent my life living as a wreck and a mess
I spent my life living refusing to confess
So lost I didn’t know where to begin
I spent my life living bound in chains
I spent my life living wrap up in my pain
But I was set free while praying to God amen

Finding Him

Over the years I’ve found God in the strangest places Places most people never thought of looking for Him I’ve found Him among people that most have forgotten People hurt by those who are happy to ignore them I found God on a sidewalk listening to a homeless man’s hurt Ministering to a man because other preachers didn’t want to His situation wasn’t much different from the rest of us All he wanted was somebody to listen to what he’d been through I found God in the voice of an addict as he testified Much of his testimony written in the lines on his face He told of how many had given up and written him off as dead But then a brother in Christ had shared some of our Lord’s grace I found God in a Hollywood actor’s heart Even after living a life of sin and debauchery He remembered where his life and blessings came from He listed God as his hero in his biography I found God in a rock singer’s words and music His lifestyle lead him to the grips of death and back again God’s grace lit a spark in his heart he had to share But many ‘Christians’ still only remember his sins I found God in the heart of a girl who had a past A young woman shamed by her tarnished history But she found grace while at her lowest of lows Now she shares Jesus and raises a family I found God in a fellow preacher’s heart But you say isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be But you haven’t seen the things that I have seen Preachers fueled not by love but by greed I found God up in the starry sky at night All of His creation on display for us all to see He created the wonders of the universe But He still took time to a man like me I found God while down on my knees in prayer Begging Him to please help me let go of all this hate I felt His hands on my shoulders and heard His voice As He saved my soul and assured me of my new fate I found God just in time to change my life The day I realized He had always been all around He saved my life and set my new course He gave me a new life to live a life unbound

The Remnant

A little over a week ago, I wrote a blog entitled 'Sick Day'. In it I spoke of my discouragement with the United Methodist Church and had basically decided to leave. In the time since then, much has happened. My friends returned from General Conference with news that all of the agendas being pushed by the ultra-liberal groups within the denomination had been shot down. Our church's laws in our Book of Discipline would not be changed to something contrary to the bible. It was due mainly to our brethren from Africa standing firm on biblical teachings that this happened. Though not everything went as we had hoped, enough happened to give many of us renewed hope in the UMC and a renewed vigor to continue to fight for our beliefs. I have decided to continue to fight the good fight. Even though some within our denomination view us as crazy and some even accuse us of being hatemongers, we will continue to stand our ground and stand for the Holy Bible being God's inspired Word.We simply believe that the bible is the truth. It means that what God calls sin in His Word is still sin to this day. It doesn't mean we hate anyone. We simply will not back down from our beliefs. Aside from this, the outpouring of love from my church family melted my heart. They understood my reasons for feeling the way I do, but truly did not want me to leave. Some of what they said broke my heart. I had to remind them that is was nothing of their doing that made me feel like leaving, but my discontent at the governing body of the denomination itself. That feeling continues, but I know that more good can be done from the inside, than looking in from the outside. So, my friends, I will not be leaving my home church. I will continue to stand for my beliefs. I will continue to be a part of the remnant. God bless you my friends, Pete.

Walking On The Edge

Why would a minister call his blog 'The Edge of Darkness'? Well, as a minister it is my calling to reach out to the lost, those souls who don't know God. Many people of the world have never had God witnessed to them or have never been witnessed to in a manner that connected with them. In many cases, they've been approached so aggressively that it actually drove them away from God instead of bringing them closer. They weren't shown 'the light', which is God through His Son Jesus the Christ and therefore have never recieved the Holy Spirit so that they may experience the spiritual rebirth needed in order to start walking in God's ways. So, in order to reach out to the lost and open their eyes to the deceptions of the world, you must walk along 'The Edge of Darkness'. God bless you my friends. Pete 5/5/12

Streams

For some reason I have streams on my mind tonight Like the ones I remember playing in as a kid Wandering down seemingly endless pathways Like paths we could have taken, but never did Streams that can flow so strongly at times But dry and fade away in times of drought Just as our life has it's own unique flow That dries and fades in times of doubt The streams can carry reviving waters to the fields Turning what was dead and brown back to vibrant colors Our lives can carry such love and joy through us When it shines, we're a light to countless others The streams carry precious water out to great rivers They become part of a larger body a greater whole We too are part of something greater than ourselves When we take part in life and join with other souls The stream that once struggled on it's lonely winding path Fighting such a treacherous world to make it a little farther Now it is part of a great river moving across the land Until it rests by fields of green in the still waters Just as the stream had to fight against the world by itself We too face many tribulations when we choose to walk alone But we can join our souls to something greater when we believe We can claim an inner peace, a peace we've never known We can allow our life's stream to continue to flow alone Or we can choose to join our souls to something so much greater We can allow our lifespring to fadeaway in the passage of time Or we can choose to spend eternity with our creator

Sick Day

I'm at home sick today. For those of you that know me, you know that I have chronic sinus problems that I deal with pretty much daily. This is one of the bad days. Sitting at home sick, gives me time to think. Something I don't know that I really want right now. I'd rather keep my mind occupied at the moment. You see, I'm getting ready to leave my home church that I love very much. I know what you must be thinking; 'If I love it so much, then why am I leaving?'. Well the past few years I've been part of the United Methodist Church. When I first started attending there, everyone just made me feel so welcome. They made me feel like family and to this day, I love several of them just like family. The thing is though, the governing body of the church at the highest levels is supporting agendas that go against my beliefs. They support allowing things into the church that go against the Holy Bible, against God's Word. This grieves me to my very soul. My faith is most important to me in life. Though I am compassionate toward people who are dealing with problems in their lives and those who are living different lifestyles, I'm also very hardedged about my beliefs. I believe to love the sinner, hate the sin. If someone isn't trying to live a Christlike life, I can still show them love even though I don't agree with how they're living. On the other hand, I don't believe in changing the church to accomadate a lifestyle contrary to biblical teaching. Either you believe in the bible in full or you don't believe in it at all. You don't put aside parts of it in order to make the church 'more inviting'. When you do that, you adopt a false religion. That is something I will not be a part of. Aside from that, I just don't feel I'm growing spiritually in the place I'm at right now. It quite simply is time to move on. A season of my life has ended and a new one is about to begin. It's time to once more step out of my comfort zone and follow the calling that God has placed on my heart. I'm still affiliated with several ministries, including my own, so I won't be out of church. As far as what I will call my home church, we'll just have to wait and see. I hope this hasn't discouraged any of you my friends. I hope it encourages you to take steps toward your own spiritual growth. Maybe it's time for you to begin a new season in your life as well. I'll leave you with this scripture. Ecclesiastes 3 New King James Version (NKJV) 1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace. God bless you my friends, Pete 4-30-12

I know I haven't been on blogspot for a very, very longtime, but I'm hoping to put it back to use now.

How Did I Get Here From There?

Today I'm an independent Christian minister trying to live a good life and witness the gospel of Christ to other people. I used to be a foul-mouthed, heavy drinking, stipclub patroning, irreverend sinner. This wasn't that long ago either. So, that brings me to one of those monumental life questions; JUST HOW DID I GET HERE FROM THERE?
When I was in my twenties, I fell into a habit of going out with some friends to this redneck country bar and dance club 2 or 3 nights a week. It wasn't really my kind of place, but the beer was cold and there were some pretty women there, so I tagged along and hung out with my friends. Though I never got cuaght, there were plenty of nights where I probably had no business driving home; not good. During this time, I also talked nasty enough to make a sailor blush. The more obnoxious and offensive then language, the better was how I was back then. I was so mad at the world for so many things, like the death of my dad when I was only 17, and I didn't even realize it. It was like I was being so self-abusive, I was tempting and almost even welcoming death.
When I was in my late twenites, I got into a steady relationship with a young woman and started calming down a bit. I was still foul-mouthed and still drank heavily at times, but I wasn't self-destructing anymore. I felt like I had a place and purpose in life I guess. We were together for a few years and were eventually engaged, but in time, we drifted apart and went our seperate ways. I have no complaints about that relationship and wish her all the best in life. The only thing is though, after we split up, me and a buddy who was in a rocky relationship started hitting the stripclubs pretty regularly. Needless to say, with consumption of much alcohol and getting to know some of the strippers on a first name basis, I ended up wasting a whole lot of time and money.
Oh, and did I mention that I spent my time in between all of this doing fundraisers for charitable organizations and calling myself a Christian? Yes, while I was living this life of sin, I was still talking to God and doing God's work by helping orphans. During all of my sinful times, when I was alone, me and God still chatted. I knew my life wasn't right and I knew He couldn't be too proud of me, but I was always His child. I was even mad at God for a long time for taking my dad away from me too soon. It took me years to realize that maybe my dad had beeen hurting more than he had let any of us know and that God had taken him home so he wouldn't suffer anymore.
Well, a few years ago I was introduced to a girl that was the exact opposite of everything I had been looking for. A blue-eyed, blonde-haired, pentecostal holiness Sunday school teacher from West Virginia. We hit it off great and spent as much time together as possible. I got involved at the church she attended, got saved, began learning about the ministry from the pastor, started teaching teen Sunday school, started my online ministry, and was eventually ordained as an independent Christian minister. My girlfriend and I were engaged for a long time. We were together almost 3 years. Eventually, our lives started taking very different paths. I won't go into details, but that relationship ended very badly. I was getting more and more involved in the ministry and she was going in a different direction. I went through a lot of pain over that breakup, because I not only loved her, but her 2 kids as well. Through all of the pain though, I grew even closer to God and He put people in my lifepath through my ministry who were going through similar situations. He made me be strong for others even when I didn't want to be.
So, today I minister via the internet, reaching out to people all over the world. I've made friends in more countries than I feel like typing here. I'm no longer the foulmouthed, heavy drinker I used to be. I'm just a sinner trying to live a good life and serve God. I'm still probably not everybody's idea of what a minister should be. I do preach to gospel straight out of the Holy Bible. I don't believe in twisting or manipulating it to serve my own puposes. I do sit down with a friend to talk over a cold beer on the occasion that they want to have a converstion about life and God. I know a lot of people would disagree with that, but we'll just have to agree to disagree. I do still listen to a lot of the rock, metal, and blues music I grew up on. I do believe the scripture that says it's not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out of him. I don't think that having a drink with a friend or listening to a certain song is gonna send you to hell. Well, I won't go off on a rant here. I'll save that for another day. Anyway, I've come a long way from where I used to be. Maybe I truly am the prodigal son come back to God's service.

With all my love my friends, Rev. Norman L. Morrison a.k.a. Pete.

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels like it's just within reach
Sometimes it feels like it's so far far away
Sometimes it feels like this is it right now
Sometimes it feels like it'll never be the day

Sometimes I feel so filled with joy
Sometimes I feel like I'll always be alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm so happy I'll explode
Sometimes I feel sadness like I've never known

Sometimes I think that tomorrow will be a better day
Sometimes I think that it's all just a cruel joke
Sometimes I think that it's all coming together
Sometimes I think my dreams all went up in smoke

Sometimes all I want is to be left alone
Sometimes all I want is to have a woman's love
Sometimes all I want is to scream at the world
Sometimes all I want is to thank God up above

Thank you God, for everything.

Your son, Rev.Norman L. 'Pete' Morrison

Memories Of Me

You used to be so alone
You never let anybody in
Never used believe in love
Maybe you never will again

You finally let someone inside
Thought you had a partner for life
But all that slipped away
Now you doubt you'll have a wife

You never liked to smile
Most days you still don't
Maybe you'll find what you're looking for
But you still believe you won't

You always built up your hurt inside
You never would let it out
You finally let God take all that rage
But once again you're full of doubt

You never felt like you fit in
You were meant for a different age
You never would talk about these things
You always wrote them down on the page

Drawing, painting, writing poetry
How you always dealt with your pain
For a few years you thought you had it all
But now only the memories remain

You gave and gave of yourself
Maybe you let yourself get used
But now that it's all said and done
Once again you've been refused

Now you sit and wait and wonder
Who you were and who you will be
At times you can't stand to look in the mirror
And face all of those memories of me

The Big Empty

You used to love life
You used to live free
You used to be so true
But it all turned to deceit

You once had a heart of gold
You once made people smile
But you hardened your heart
And your virtue you defiled

You were once so full of life
But inside now's an empty hole
The meds became your idols
The addiction took it's toll

You try to fill the void inside
So you won't feel so odd
Fill it with the trinkets you buy
Now money's become your God

All of your decency you sold
For the price of your next fix
Anything to get you by
You fall for Satan's tricks

High on false happiness
Spinning out of control
Gold and money and drugs
The only price was your soul

The hole inside becomes a monster
It's hunger is never sated
Your life's purpose is to feed it
Or to keep it medicated

You forget everyone around you
Everyone you've ever known
All frosaken for your demon
And now you find yourself alone.

You once were so beautiful
Blessed with an angels grace
But now it's all begun to fade
And the pain is written on your face

Now all that was is gone
You're still left feeling hollow
Now you've left your legacy
So sad for those that follow

Haunted Heart

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Haunted Heart
Category: Romance and Relationships
I woke up from a dream today
So terrible and so real
Bringing back memories
And things I didn't want to feel

Dreams of a love that was lost
And all the pain it put me through
A nightmare of hurtful things
We should never say never do

Dreams of someone who doesn't exist
At least she doesn't anymore
Once she gave me so much hope
Of a family and so much more

We spent years together
Planning out all our dreams
But all that's gone now
And nothing's what it seems

I was so happy for a time
Wrapped in her loving arms
But I can't feel that now
And all I feel is harm

Once I felt love like I've never known
When I looked into her eyes
But after all that's happened
I wonder how much was only lies

Just how much of it was real
And how much of it only show
My heart wants to believe
But now I'll never really know

Was the girl I loved even real
Is what hurts the most
Was she the love of my life
Or just a beautiful ghost

I remember the girl I met
On that warm spring night
But she changed over time
And vanished from my sight

We had the love like you see in movies
Seemed nothing could tear us apart
But something must have changed
Something deep inside her heart

You see that girl is gone today
She no longer exists
But I still remember her face
And the taste of her kiss

Now just memories remain
Along with the devil's taunting
Because today she's gone far away
But in my heart she's still haunting

The Light

Monday, February 22, 2010
The Light
Category: Life
This winter has been so long and so cold
At times it's been unbearable
With pains that cut me to my soul

So many weeks of skies dreary and grey
Just brought me further down
Into thoughts so dark that I just can't say

It happens when your heart is broken
When you feel you've lost it all
A time of feeling all alone and forsaken

Too many days of snow and ice and rain
Wouldn't let me get outside
So I could escape all the thoughts and the pain

I was forced to face all that I didn't want to feel
Like an animal trapped in a cage
But in this time I started to learn how to heal

And then the sun came out shining so brightly one day
It quietly parted the sky
Gracefully chasing all of the clouds away

In the warmth of the sun I went out for a drive
A chance to finally meet a friend
Ana after hours of us talking I felt so alive

It felt so good to hear someone laugh and see them smile
I felt a weight lifted from my heart
While making my way home mile after mile

It was another of life's many journeys
Like finding a safe haven
After being tossed in the storms of the seas

I could feel my heart start to awaken
Soaking in all of the rays of hope
Ready to take back that which had been taken

The sun and the future once again seemed bright
It's a wonder what can change
When you're once again standing in the light

Dreamer

Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Dreamer
Category: Romance and Relationships
I want to find a love that makes my heart speed up when she walks into the room. A love that will send shivers up my spine when I feel her touch. A love who will warm my heart when she calls out of the blue just because she was thinking about me. I want to find a love that I can make feel safe and protected. A love that I can encourage and make her believe she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. Someone I can make feel like they're loved like they've never been loved in all their life. I want a love who likes to hold hands while we're walking around or riding in the car. I want a love I can share my hopes and dreams with. I want a love who I can trust with my heart. Is there still such a love out there in this day and time? Maybe I'm just a dreamer born at the wrong place in time. I think deep down in our hearts, we all want this kind of love, don't we?

Pete 2-17-10

Silence

Saturday, February 13, 2010
Silence
Category: Life
In the silence of a snow storm a few months ago
I knew something was wrong
That something was gone

In the silence standing alone on that day
I knew we'd seen our better days
I knew something had slipped away

In the silence found in prayer weeks ago
I gained a grip on sanity
Dealt with the pain inside of me

In the silence driving alone in the rain that night
I wrestled with the hurt within
So a new life could begin

In the silence I try to find a way to forgive
Those who gave me hurt
And myself for who I hurt

In the silence of a moment alone today
I knew I had to sit down and write
I knew I had to make it right

I found peace in the silence

Pete 2-13-10

My Darkest Hour

Just when I thought I was getting better, I keep getting hit with reminders of what happened. I won't go into details, but I thought the hurt was getting better from the breakup and then some stuff happened to upset me again. I hit a low point yesterday; probably the lowest I've ever been. It was so bad that I actually scared myself with the things that were going through my mind. I've been trying to stay strong for all of you that read my blogs and get encouagement from them here and on my ministry pages. I felt like I had to stay positive and just say things will be alright. I'm not being arrogant or anything, but there are quite a few people who read my writings. I thought that if I wrote any negative or depressing stuff that it wouldn't be good for you guys. The thing is though, I'm really hurting. It's a little over a month since my fiance' and I broke up. She's getting married today or tomorrow I think, but I can't turn my emotions of like that. We spent 2 years and 8 months together. I don't know how she felt about me, but I gave her all of my heart, my love, just everything period. The things she did are very wrong. I won't say anymore. I just want to move on. I even went out with a friend a few times since the breakup, just as friends I thought. I know now that she was looking for something more and I let it go too far and ended up hurting her I think. She's looking for something I'm just not capable of giving right now. On top of everything else, we keep having icy weather, so I can't go out and spend time with friends, so I end up sitting at home and with my mind not being occupied, I start thinking of everything all over again. I'm just tired of feeling like this. I want to get all of this over with so I can start a new life. I need to find myself again. I need to be out around people again. I just want to start enjoying life again. I want to find that girl out there that can be my best friend, that can go hiking with me, read the bible with me, share the ministry with me, see new places together, and most of all, love me the way I love her. Is that too much to ask? The thing is, I've been hurt a couple of times now and I don't know if I'll be able to open up my heart and trust somebody again. I've been praying to God to bring that woman into my life. I don't know. You probably don't want to hear all of this, but writing is my way of getting things out of my system so I can heal. I'm hoping I've been through my darkest hour now and that things will get better from here on. Anyway, I'm sorry to dump all of my junk on you my friend. I hope it doesn't make you wanna quit reading my blog.

Hurtspeak

All the love is gone
You've ripped it from my heart

All the money is gone
That's what you wanted from the start

My sense of self was gone
But I'm finding it now

At least my soul is left
You couldn't steal it anyhow

All of the tears are gone
My hurt all turned to anger

All your weapons are gone
My heart no longer in danger

All these years that are gone
Were they all just an act

All of your lies are showing
And now that's a fact

Took you no time at all
To throw away all that we shared

Now your true colors are showing
To all they're laid bare

What's done is done
For good or for bad

But in my heart I know
You'll never replace what you had

You once said that you had a dream
In it I called you many a cruel name

But I'll never give you that satisfaction
So add that to your shame

Life After Love

As I sit here typing
Dogs are barking
Birds are larking

As I sit here thinking
My heart is healing
And time is stealing

As I'm here wondering
My mind isn't mended
From what pain has rended

As I'm here hurting
My tears are welling
From the memories' telling

As I feel this yearning
My mind is racing
My heart is pacing

As I feel this changing
The world is turning
But love won't stop burning

As I keep on praying
For peace and healing
I need a sign's revealing

As I keep on saying
I'll keep on surviving
But memories keep reviving

As I go on living
I know what's missing
Her touch and her kissing

As I go on being
New paths need choosing
Guess there's no use refusing

As I sit here typing
I think of what I'm saying
Options that need weighing

As I sit here I'm hoping
For blessing from above
And for a life after love

Bare Bones

I've severed ties
I've lost my love
Now all I have
Is God above

Full of anger
I want to hate
Is it a storm
Or is it fate

Twisted and torn
So full of rage
A broken soul
A beast in a cage

So full of hurt
Want to hurt back
But it's of no use
A senseless attack

I swallow my pride
I hide my pain
Of that love
Only scars remain

In financial ruin
And a broken heart
I've lost so much
I'm back to the start

It hurts so much
Like I've never known
There's not much left
Just bare bones