Sick Day

I'm at home sick today. For those of you that know me, you know that I have chronic sinus problems that I deal with pretty much daily. This is one of the bad days. Sitting at home sick, gives me time to think. Something I don't know that I really want right now. I'd rather keep my mind occupied at the moment. You see, I'm getting ready to leave my home church that I love very much. I know what you must be thinking; 'If I love it so much, then why am I leaving?'. Well the past few years I've been part of the United Methodist Church. When I first started attending there, everyone just made me feel so welcome. They made me feel like family and to this day, I love several of them just like family. The thing is though, the governing body of the church at the highest levels is supporting agendas that go against my beliefs. They support allowing things into the church that go against the Holy Bible, against God's Word. This grieves me to my very soul. My faith is most important to me in life. Though I am compassionate toward people who are dealing with problems in their lives and those who are living different lifestyles, I'm also very hardedged about my beliefs. I believe to love the sinner, hate the sin. If someone isn't trying to live a Christlike life, I can still show them love even though I don't agree with how they're living. On the other hand, I don't believe in changing the church to accomadate a lifestyle contrary to biblical teaching. Either you believe in the bible in full or you don't believe in it at all. You don't put aside parts of it in order to make the church 'more inviting'. When you do that, you adopt a false religion. That is something I will not be a part of. Aside from that, I just don't feel I'm growing spiritually in the place I'm at right now. It quite simply is time to move on. A season of my life has ended and a new one is about to begin. It's time to once more step out of my comfort zone and follow the calling that God has placed on my heart. I'm still affiliated with several ministries, including my own, so I won't be out of church. As far as what I will call my home church, we'll just have to wait and see. I hope this hasn't discouraged any of you my friends. I hope it encourages you to take steps toward your own spiritual growth. Maybe it's time for you to begin a new season in your life as well. I'll leave you with this scripture. Ecclesiastes 3 New King James Version (NKJV) 1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace. God bless you my friends, Pete 4-30-12

I know I haven't been on blogspot for a very, very longtime, but I'm hoping to put it back to use now.

How Did I Get Here From There?

Today I'm an independent Christian minister trying to live a good life and witness the gospel of Christ to other people. I used to be a foul-mouthed, heavy drinking, stipclub patroning, irreverend sinner. This wasn't that long ago either. So, that brings me to one of those monumental life questions; JUST HOW DID I GET HERE FROM THERE?
When I was in my twenties, I fell into a habit of going out with some friends to this redneck country bar and dance club 2 or 3 nights a week. It wasn't really my kind of place, but the beer was cold and there were some pretty women there, so I tagged along and hung out with my friends. Though I never got cuaght, there were plenty of nights where I probably had no business driving home; not good. During this time, I also talked nasty enough to make a sailor blush. The more obnoxious and offensive then language, the better was how I was back then. I was so mad at the world for so many things, like the death of my dad when I was only 17, and I didn't even realize it. It was like I was being so self-abusive, I was tempting and almost even welcoming death.
When I was in my late twenites, I got into a steady relationship with a young woman and started calming down a bit. I was still foul-mouthed and still drank heavily at times, but I wasn't self-destructing anymore. I felt like I had a place and purpose in life I guess. We were together for a few years and were eventually engaged, but in time, we drifted apart and went our seperate ways. I have no complaints about that relationship and wish her all the best in life. The only thing is though, after we split up, me and a buddy who was in a rocky relationship started hitting the stripclubs pretty regularly. Needless to say, with consumption of much alcohol and getting to know some of the strippers on a first name basis, I ended up wasting a whole lot of time and money.
Oh, and did I mention that I spent my time in between all of this doing fundraisers for charitable organizations and calling myself a Christian? Yes, while I was living this life of sin, I was still talking to God and doing God's work by helping orphans. During all of my sinful times, when I was alone, me and God still chatted. I knew my life wasn't right and I knew He couldn't be too proud of me, but I was always His child. I was even mad at God for a long time for taking my dad away from me too soon. It took me years to realize that maybe my dad had beeen hurting more than he had let any of us know and that God had taken him home so he wouldn't suffer anymore.
Well, a few years ago I was introduced to a girl that was the exact opposite of everything I had been looking for. A blue-eyed, blonde-haired, pentecostal holiness Sunday school teacher from West Virginia. We hit it off great and spent as much time together as possible. I got involved at the church she attended, got saved, began learning about the ministry from the pastor, started teaching teen Sunday school, started my online ministry, and was eventually ordained as an independent Christian minister. My girlfriend and I were engaged for a long time. We were together almost 3 years. Eventually, our lives started taking very different paths. I won't go into details, but that relationship ended very badly. I was getting more and more involved in the ministry and she was going in a different direction. I went through a lot of pain over that breakup, because I not only loved her, but her 2 kids as well. Through all of the pain though, I grew even closer to God and He put people in my lifepath through my ministry who were going through similar situations. He made me be strong for others even when I didn't want to be.
So, today I minister via the internet, reaching out to people all over the world. I've made friends in more countries than I feel like typing here. I'm no longer the foulmouthed, heavy drinker I used to be. I'm just a sinner trying to live a good life and serve God. I'm still probably not everybody's idea of what a minister should be. I do preach to gospel straight out of the Holy Bible. I don't believe in twisting or manipulating it to serve my own puposes. I do sit down with a friend to talk over a cold beer on the occasion that they want to have a converstion about life and God. I know a lot of people would disagree with that, but we'll just have to agree to disagree. I do still listen to a lot of the rock, metal, and blues music I grew up on. I do believe the scripture that says it's not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out of him. I don't think that having a drink with a friend or listening to a certain song is gonna send you to hell. Well, I won't go off on a rant here. I'll save that for another day. Anyway, I've come a long way from where I used to be. Maybe I truly am the prodigal son come back to God's service.

With all my love my friends, Rev. Norman L. Morrison a.k.a. Pete.

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels like it's just within reach
Sometimes it feels like it's so far far away
Sometimes it feels like this is it right now
Sometimes it feels like it'll never be the day

Sometimes I feel so filled with joy
Sometimes I feel like I'll always be alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm so happy I'll explode
Sometimes I feel sadness like I've never known

Sometimes I think that tomorrow will be a better day
Sometimes I think that it's all just a cruel joke
Sometimes I think that it's all coming together
Sometimes I think my dreams all went up in smoke

Sometimes all I want is to be left alone
Sometimes all I want is to have a woman's love
Sometimes all I want is to scream at the world
Sometimes all I want is to thank God up above

Thank you God, for everything.

Your son, Rev.Norman L. 'Pete' Morrison

Memories Of Me

You used to be so alone
You never let anybody in
Never used believe in love
Maybe you never will again

You finally let someone inside
Thought you had a partner for life
But all that slipped away
Now you doubt you'll have a wife

You never liked to smile
Most days you still don't
Maybe you'll find what you're looking for
But you still believe you won't

You always built up your hurt inside
You never would let it out
You finally let God take all that rage
But once again you're full of doubt

You never felt like you fit in
You were meant for a different age
You never would talk about these things
You always wrote them down on the page

Drawing, painting, writing poetry
How you always dealt with your pain
For a few years you thought you had it all
But now only the memories remain

You gave and gave of yourself
Maybe you let yourself get used
But now that it's all said and done
Once again you've been refused

Now you sit and wait and wonder
Who you were and who you will be
At times you can't stand to look in the mirror
And face all of those memories of me

The Big Empty

You used to love life
You used to live free
You used to be so true
But it all turned to deceit

You once had a heart of gold
You once made people smile
But you hardened your heart
And your virtue you defiled

You were once so full of life
But inside now's an empty hole
The meds became your idols
The addiction took it's toll

You try to fill the void inside
So you won't feel so odd
Fill it with the trinkets you buy
Now money's become your God

All of your decency you sold
For the price of your next fix
Anything to get you by
You fall for Satan's tricks

High on false happiness
Spinning out of control
Gold and money and drugs
The only price was your soul

The hole inside becomes a monster
It's hunger is never sated
Your life's purpose is to feed it
Or to keep it medicated

You forget everyone around you
Everyone you've ever known
All frosaken for your demon
And now you find yourself alone.

You once were so beautiful
Blessed with an angels grace
But now it's all begun to fade
And the pain is written on your face

Now all that was is gone
You're still left feeling hollow
Now you've left your legacy
So sad for those that follow

Haunted Heart

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Haunted Heart
Category: Romance and Relationships
I woke up from a dream today
So terrible and so real
Bringing back memories
And things I didn't want to feel

Dreams of a love that was lost
And all the pain it put me through
A nightmare of hurtful things
We should never say never do

Dreams of someone who doesn't exist
At least she doesn't anymore
Once she gave me so much hope
Of a family and so much more

We spent years together
Planning out all our dreams
But all that's gone now
And nothing's what it seems

I was so happy for a time
Wrapped in her loving arms
But I can't feel that now
And all I feel is harm

Once I felt love like I've never known
When I looked into her eyes
But after all that's happened
I wonder how much was only lies

Just how much of it was real
And how much of it only show
My heart wants to believe
But now I'll never really know

Was the girl I loved even real
Is what hurts the most
Was she the love of my life
Or just a beautiful ghost

I remember the girl I met
On that warm spring night
But she changed over time
And vanished from my sight

We had the love like you see in movies
Seemed nothing could tear us apart
But something must have changed
Something deep inside her heart

You see that girl is gone today
She no longer exists
But I still remember her face
And the taste of her kiss

Now just memories remain
Along with the devil's taunting
Because today she's gone far away
But in my heart she's still haunting