Just Like Job

In the book of Job, Lucifer bet God that he could make God's servant Job curse Him. God told Lucifer that he could to anything he wanted to Job, except touch him directly. Lucifer ruined his crops, collapsed a house on Job's children, and so on and so on. In the past six weeks, I've had to shut down a ministry I was unexpectedly pastoring due to lack of funds, left a touring evangelical ministry I was a part of for various reasons, had my mother in the hospital for heart failure, had my brother have an epileptic seizure on me, had my fiance' I've been with since April of 2007 leave me (along with her two kids who I love very much), and I'm basically financially ruined for reasons it would take too long to get into. I've been at war with Lucifer or Satan, whatever you want to call him for a long time. He's doing everything he can now to get me to forsake God, but I have not. I'm hurt, angry, disgusted, wounded, confused, depressed, and kind of lost. I refuse to curse God. I know it is the enemy's hand at work here. I will not lose my faith.

Exit Wounds

Why is there 'baggage' when you leave a situation for all the right reasons? You know what I mean. When you're involved in something whether it's a personal relationship, a friendship, a business venture, a job, a ministry, or whatever else and you feel in your heart that something isn't right or there is wrong doing going on and you know you don't want to be a part of it anymore. You know that the best thing is to distance yourself from the situation, so you exit it. The thing is though, the wrongdoer may be someone you really care about and you really don't want to hurt them. So, you step away from the situation and don't get into a confrontation about what's going on in order to keep from hurting anyone. You do this even though it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth for not voicing what you feel is really wrong. You've tried to take the high road and not dirty anyone's name or hurt any feelings, but you ultimately end up looking like the bad guy. It appears that something of your doing caused the break in the relationship to those around you and you can't say anything to correct it without bringing out the ugliness you were trying to avoid to begin with. Why is it this way? I don't have the answer. All I know is that sometimes by trying to be the bigger man and trying to peacefully leave a bad situation, you bear the scars left by the 'exit wounds'.

The Aftermath

Feelings are hurt
Harsh things are said
Outside you are strong
Inside you feel dead

Some battles are won
While others are lost
The war is over
But at what cost

You cut it loose
You spoke your minds
But did you sever the ties
And all that binds

You thought you could clear the air
Get it all off you chest
But did it solve anything
Was it for the best

The conflict is over
Or is it just at rest
Was it the beginning of the end
Or was it just a test

What's done is done
You've taken that path
Now you deal with what's left
Standing in the aftermath

The Edge of Darkness

Welcome to 'The edge of Darkness'. I chose this as my blog's name because it's where I live. As a minister, it's part of my calling to walk along the the edge of the darkness and try to pluck lost souls from it and save them. It also represents my personality. I've never been a happy-go-lucky person. I've always been a victim of my own overthinking and wonderings. I'm always thinking of what makes people tick and what makes a person do the things they do. Always wondering where humanity ends and animal instincts begin in a person which enables them to do the evil that they do. It's a slippery slope walking in darkness and not falling victim to it. Anyway, this is the beginning of something new for me. I don't know how much of this will be tied to my ministry and how much of it will be personal. This may be the start of my venture into the world of the supernatural that's been on my mind for quite some time now. Who knows? Well, my friend, thanks for taking a moment of your time to read this and hang on, cause this is gonna be a wild ride.

Later, Pete.